Driving Out Fear

It is not an uncommon observation since the events of 9/11 that fear seems to be more than a commonplace in the American society. Fear has become a leadership and management tool in my opinion and it appears that leaders at all levels have used those catastrophic events as a tool to get what they want. Yes, it has always been there but my belief is that many of those in power and authority have turned fear into a leadership art form.

Deming states that"effective leaders must be committed to driving fear out of our workplaces." I would add to this statement is that is not only true for business, but true in our institutions, government and communities. While this is a seemingly rationale and simple concept to grab on to, it appears to be rather hard to accomplish in multiple settings. Why worry about it you might ask? Well, when fear is present, individual self confidence is tough to maintain and achieve. Fear keeps you off balance, makes you unsure of yourself and others around you. Even one's faith is challenged. Fear, unabated, becomes a self fulfilling prophecy by causing us to lose our convictions, our confidence and we don't believe in ourselves. When it happens to individuals, it spreads throughout the entire organization; we cease to hold to the basic principles that bring us together as people, as a company or as a nation. Fear keeps us from asking why? How? Is there a different way? We find fear creates a blame culture with no room for mistakes or errors and all trust is lost. Intolerance is born, creativity is lost and problem finding replaces problems solving.

Successful organizations embrace continual improvements. Leaders are solution oriented and best practice driven. They engender what is most important in the business, organization or institution by sharing a meaningful, exciting vision of what can be and the purposes that will be served by it. Great organizations play confidently, positively and optimistically on the strengths of their people regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in. They know that mistakes occur, that bad things happen but success comes when the glass is half full. Change within difficult circumstances are embraced and learned from, new solutions evolve and an overriding belief that we can accomplish and do whatever we say we will do- without fear.

On Zorba

I had the occasion this weekend, while hunkered down in an early winter blizzard, to watch the movie Zorba the Greek. While watching, I was struck by a particular line in the film, when Zorba was confused by his boss's admonition, "Everything, men, animals, trees, stars, we are all one substance involved in the same terrible struggle. What struggle? Turning matter into spirit." Zorba replied by first scratching his head and saying, " I've got a thick skull boss, I don't grasp these things easily. Ah, if only you could dance all that you've just said, then I'd understand...Or if you could tell me all that in a story boss."

Bosses, business owners, government officials, parents, we all can learn a lesson from Zorba. Clarify your communication and know who you are talking to. Rather than simply relaying the message, confirm that they have not only heard what you have said; but, more importantly, that they understand what the message is.

I think all too often today the sender of the message doesn't care. And, more often than not, wants to insure that the message is misunderstood. Communication today seems more intent upon propaganda in business, government, relationships and controlling the message than it does about sharing it. Perhaps, and hopefully, the listeners will begin to hold the senders accountable for their messages and we will be more open to "dancing together rather than dancing alone" so we can truly be understood.

Kind Confrontation

Research tells us that more than 80% of those surveyed on the topic of confrontation say they would rather avoid it than deal with it. Actually, only less than 5% of the population is willing to take confrontational issues head on. The reason for this unwillingness to deal with confrontation is quite simply stated: a fear of creating negative feelings or receiving a negative, aggressive reaction from the confronted person. We don't want to upset anyone even if we have to pay a price for not addressing the issues.



Consider this approach to minimize the negative feelings and actions. Foremost, guide yourself in the confrontation by a commitment to maintain mutual self esteem. Then, I try to use the following principles and apply them in a positive environment when carrying out a confrontation in order to resolve issues.

1. It is imperative to believe in yourself and what you are initiating the confrontation about.
2. Make a commitment to distance the performance of the person from his/her character.
3. Be solution driven. Express yourself in terms of the outcome you desire. Anyone can blather on about the problem.
4. Make certain that you speak in the present not the past. You are looking for behavior to change and you can't change the past.
5. Make certain that both you and the other person have the same understanding of what brought the confrontation on in the first place and what the expectations for the solutions are. Then, make a mutual commitment to follow through.
6. Make sure that you are ready to support the other person in their attempts to meet the expectations set forth.
7. Complete the confrontation exchange with compliments.

A final thought, praise and reprimand in private. Be selective on using either in public, because either can create uncertainty or jealousy in the workplace or within the team.

Leadership Role in Group Problem Solving

When one looks to examine what happens in any kind of discussion group, you learn that individual members often act as independent problem solvers. They can influence colleagues with external pushes and pulls or they can choose to function as a participating member of the group, who is adherent to various degrees of unity with others. If the group desires the latter function to be maximized, the concept of what Peter Senge calls a “nerve ring” must be introduced to the group. This, in my opinion, is the function of the group leader. If problem solving is to be achieved, the leader cannot be the focal point, the font of knowledge or the creator of solutions. It is more important that he or she function as a facilitator of information and communicator between all of the group members. He or she integrates the responses received so that a single unified response from the group as a whole evolves.

On Failure

For more than 50 years Jules Feiffer has challenged readers with his razor sharp wit via his skill with cartoons, illustrations, books and plays. In his memoir, Backing Into Forward, he shared his views on failure saying “Success is nothing to sneeze at, but failure, too, offers great possibilities.”

I love that thought. I have been saying for years in my writings, speeches and seminars that you will never really experience the fullness of success unless you first experience the lessons of failure. You and I have been taught through our education, theology, the media and societal norms that failure is bad, it is negative. As a result, we’re given the covert message that if you risk anything, failure will more than likely be a sure outcome. The message don’t take chances, stay on the straight and narrow, color within the lines and be a good girl or boy has kept many of us from failure opportunities that could have changed lives in the most positive ways.

When you think about it, failure is truly at the base of all learning, invention and progress. Isn’t it true that if we don’t know what the wrong way is, we will never discover what the right way is? We need some basis of comparison to know what not to do again; think of the arts, recreation, work, friendships, and relationships–anything that will lead you to a satisfactory life. It is only when you stub your toe, trip, stumble and fall flat on your keester that you really figure out where you went wrong. The timeless sayings, “Get up and get back on the horse” and “dust yourself off and start all over again,” are all about failure and our attitude toward it.

So stop living your life as a flashing yellow light, take one risk a day; it doesn’t have to be a big one. When you do take risks, reflect on how you have grown through the experience. Failure and risk is all about growth and becoming fully human.

Critical Thinking and Decision Making

Leaders are given the day in and day out task of making critical decisions. How do they make them? The best leaders use critical thinking skills. My experience as an observer of good leaders has taught me that they consider the propositions they are handed and make judgments about which way to decide based upon well-supported evidence. What does that mean you might ask? Faced with making judgments or decisions that could have a long term or for that matter short term impact, they first ask themselves what is it they are being asked to support, believe or accept. They ask for recommendations, supporting documents and they scrutinize the reliability, validity and overall credibility of the evidence they have been presented. However, they don’t stop there. They ask for alternative views, distaff perspectives and other ways of interpreting the information given to them. They want to know the reliability, the biases, the credibility of the sources of evidence and furthermore, the person(s) bringing it to them. Finally, they ask for any “other stones” left unturned to be picked up for any last reasonable explanation. It is only then that they make a reasoned thoughtful decision based on the evidence and alternative viewpoints/perspectives presented that will have impact on the greatest good, the common good of the business, organization, community or country they serve as the leader. They don’t allow decisions to be made simply on emotion, or self serving data or evidence that benefits only themselves. There is no doubt critical thinking is hard work. I wonder how hard decision makers are willing to work.
That brings me to the first Tuesday in November. Tomorrow is Election Day. Clearly this mid-term may very well be one of the more important in recent history. How critically have we, you, and I thought, reflected and truly studied the evidence presented to us by those who bring that evidence to us? Do we allow ourselves to make decisions based on hard data; do we listen to alternative points of view? Do we “turn over” all the stones in the mine that today’s political and media driven machines throw at us? I hope so.

Critical Thinking and Decision Making

Leaders are given the day in and day out task of making critical decisions. How do they make them? The best leaders use critical thinking skills. My experience as an observer of good leaders has taught me that they consider the propositions they are handed and make judgments about which way to decide based upon well-supported evidence. What does that mean you might ask? Faced with making judgments or decisions that could have a long term or for that matter short term impact, they first ask themselves what is it they are being asked to support, believe or accept. They ask for recommendations, supporting documents and they scrutinize the reliability, validity and overall credibility of the evidence they have been presented. However, they don’t stop there. They ask for alternative views, distaff perspectives and other ways of interpreting the information given to them. They want to know the reliability, the biases, the credibility of the sources of evidence and furthermore, the person(s) bringing it to them. Finally, they ask for any “other stones” left unturned to be picked up for any last reasonable explanation. It is only then that they make a reasoned thoughtful decision based on the evidence and alternative viewpoints/perspectives presented that will have impact on the greatest good, the common good of the business, organization, community or country they serve as the leader. They don’t allow decisions to be made simply on emotion, or self serving data or evidence that benefits only themselves. There is no doubt critical thinking is hard work. I wonder how hard decision makers are willing to work.
That brings me to the first Tuesday in November. Tomorrow is Election Day. Clearly this mid-term may very well be one of the more important in recent history. How critically have we, you, and I thought, reflected and truly studied the evidence presented to us by those who bring that evidence to us? Do we allow ourselves to make decisions based on hard data; do we listen to alternative points of view? Do we “turn over” all the stones in the mine that today’s political and media driven machines throw at us? I hope so.

A Recommendation

The Go Giver is described on its cover as “a little story about a powerful business idea.” I read the book on a recent flight home and found it to be more than a powerful business idea. The book reminds me of what my mother and grandmother always admonished me and my siblings with, “remember what goes around comes around.” Their message was do good things and good things will follow you; in these times of greed and looking out only for number one. The authors, Bob Burg and John David Mann, reminded me of what I was taught as a kid: be kind, be respectful and give to yourself are the main messages that ring out loud and clear. This book is written for all of us but particularly those in leadership roles. The authors “Five Laws of Stratospheric Success” form the foundation of this parable that I hope and trust any reader can identify with. Lois Frankel, Ph.D. said “a lovely reminder to us all that the world is abundant and rewards those who act with a generosity of spirit” and Seth Godin takes it a bit further when he writes “most people don’t have the guts to buy this book, never mind the will to follow through and actually use it. But you do. And I am certain that you will be glad you did.”
If you want to find success and happiness, no matter how those words are defined for you, if you read this book and open your mind to the message the authors bring to bear your chances of experiencing the happiness and success you desire will become reality. Do it for yourself, for those you love, for those you lead and serve a favor, read this book.
When you have completed your read I would love to hear your thoughts on the message. Enjoy!

The Use of Narrative

I have been reading Stephen Denning’s Book, The Leader’s Guide to Storytelling – Masterying the Art and Discipline of Business Narrative. I will always believe that the power of narrative or the use of storytelling is a powerful leadership tool. I strongly urge you to take some time and read this book and Denning’s other book: Squirrel, Inc. While there are many applications for narratives and stories for an effective leader, one of the best ways to use them is to build trust and brand in your organization. Denning suggests and I agree that the use of story and narrative can help you build your brand while capturing customers and more important keeping them. Furthermore when utilized correctly, the storyline establishes and insures brand promise. Strong brands do more than create awareness, they establish relationships. The term “value added” comes to mind; the logo, the motto, the symbols and slogans and ultimately the customers’ experience are woven carefully as part of the constantly evolving narrative that generates the promise that keeps bringing the customer back to the company and the brand promise. Check out Denning’s books, you won’t regret it!

For the Future

The last two weekends I was blessed to spend time with my 6 grandchildren and their parents. The mosaic of their personalities, energy, enthusiasm, gifts and yes their liabilities struck me. At the same time, it was exciting, stimulating and TIRING to be with them. That experience brings me to the focus of my blog today. All of us whether we have children or grandchildren of your own I believe that societies children and what happens to all of them is everyone’s responsibility. What you and I do for children, whether our time to read them a story, our talents to coach a team, to buy girl scout cookies or our treasure to pay the taxes that support their education will have profound effect on our community, our state, our nation and yes, even the world. Someone paid the price for you and I and those children who came before us. The commitment to developing the potential in every child is what made our country great. The “Greatest Generation” knew that. Both they and we benefited from the nation’s commitment to the GI Bill which provided education for so many who would have never afforded it. It is said that without that commitment to educating the young men and women of the late 40’s and 50’s America would have never realized our collective potential.
Unfortunately, today that same commitment doesn’t seem to exist and while my kids and grandkids don’t have to worry so much, there are thousands of children who not only are short changed by poor schooling, but when they do go to school they do so hungry too. Along with the elderly, the children of the U.S. are grossly underserved by our health care system. What does this all mean? I believe that if we compromise the education, nutrition, health and safety of our children, we stand to put our way of life, our quality of life and our nation at risk. Consider the potential greatness and goodness that exists in children and ask yourself if you can live with the consequence of us all missing out and their contribution to our future? Yes I know some money is not spent wisely, some is wasted, just like you and I do with our own money. However, the risk of not contributing our time, talent and treasure for the future through all of our children will be a decision that will haunt us ALL, our communities, our state and our nation, tomorrow and for years to come.

Asking the Wrong Question

No matter where or what you read, the newspaper, Facebook, or your alumni news, you are almost certain to find that somebody you know has gone further, achieved more, gone faster toward their dream than you have. The first thought that too often occurs is, “he or she will succeed instead of me.”
Why not take the high road and tell ourselves “that proves that it CAN be done.” When we take that low road of negative thinking we confirm what many people think; competition is just another spiritual drug. If you focus on competition this way it becomes poisonous. We impede our own path to success and achievement as we ogle at the accomplishments of others as we take our eye off the prize we seek. We ask the wrong questions that give use answers we don’t want or really don’t need. Instead of asking yourself, why bother? Or what’s the use? Or why even try? You might want to consider another view such as: did I make progress on my goals today? Did I meet my deadline with room to spare? Did I talk to people who will help me grow today? Did I spend time with family? Instead of drinking the “cool aide of negativity,” pour a glass of the “nectar of the admonition of success.” Too many of us read too many journals or websites that expose our envy and all that does is encourage us to wallow in self doubt or even pity, which along with envy is not at all healthy. Use competition to jettison you and your goals in a positive and healthy way. Compete with yourself, not the world, focus on what you can do and not what others are doing. Spend your precious energy in positive fulfilling ways, not in self destructive extrinsic reality. Find your own voice, listen to it, and define your success and future on your terms, not terms of someone else’s reality.

Client or Customer?

The basis of this blog comes from an article that appeared recently on http://www.salesmarks.com/. What follows is my take on that article for your review.
Websters Dictionary defines a customer as a person who buys goods or services from another. On the other hand, a client is a person or group/company that uses the advice or services of a professional. Examples of the professional would be a lawyer, accountant, ad agency, or business coach.
If you are a professional services provider, shouldn’t you want clients rather than customers? If you agree with Webster’s definition the answer is clear. The client relationship is all about relationships that are ongoing. These are relationships that allow and ask you to share your expertise. It is about a formed relationship that is predicated on how you help them not on how you handle them. It is about the quality of the relationship and the process, not a transaction.
If you think this is about splitting hairs, think again. It isn’t a simple case of semantics. It is about your mindset and how you approach people. Are you willing to develop and grow a relationship in which your expertise becomes indispensable because of what you know, who you are, how you can pragmatically or practically help and the feeling that people have about the interaction. If you do this you will build a true client relationship that will last.

Public Relations and Marketing Lessons Learned

Do you want to have better pick-up and coverage on your press releases? Consider this. Use some art work, video and visual elements to assist you in telling and selling your story. Here are some ideas that you can try:
· Photographs
· Pie charts
· Diagrams
· Drawings/illustrations
· Screen captures
· Video testimonials
Remember what you heard once upon a time? A picture is worth a thousand words. If you think about it, there is a good reason that this old cliché has been around since we were kids… because it is true! Having relevant artwork and visuals will help distinguish your news release from others. It will help you capture the attention of the reporter, editor and should significantly increase your chance of successful pick-up and coverage.

Time Management Vampires

Ask anyone, “What are the top 3 challenges you have personally or professionally?” I would bet you that “time management” or “I don’t have enough time to get things done” is one of those top three responses. Unfortunately we only get 24 hours, no more, no less, that’s it! So what can you do about it?
Consider the time management vampires in your life. The first time wasting vampire is not having a plan, goals or a direction regarding what you are going to do 1st and from there on. You don’t know where to start or what to do next. Then you first need to create a schedule for yourself that mirrors the action needed to accomplish the goals you have set. Don’t waste time doing things that aren’t taking you to the goal you want to achieve. Think about doing things that won’t positively affect your desired goal outcome; it will be a “vampire” activity that will negatively sap your energy and waste your time. Make a schedule, daily, weekly and monthly, that focuses your time and energy on tasks that will drive a stake in the heart of the time wasting vampire.
A second vampire is one we often call “burn out.” Burn out occurs for several reasons: one is worrying about things you can’t control. The fretting, anxiety, and worry we carry in our head causes limiting beliefs that stop us in our tracks. Another is not getting enough rest. Doctors tell us that we on average need at least six and a half hours of sleep per night. Are you getting that and more than that occasionally? If not, you are more than likely lighting the fire that is burning you out.
The third vampire is what I will call “blurred vision.” This occurs from having too many “balls in the air.” How many times have those balls hit you in the head? If you are like many of us you’re trying to do too much and you do it without focusing on what your key goals are. We take on too much, thereby rendering ourselves ability to focus and in effect become blurred on what we are actually doing. Again it is important to clearly identify your goals, write them down and stick to the knitting. Recently, studies from prominent researchers at several universities have told us that multi-tasking can diminish our effectiveness and limit our chances for success. The multi-task vampire will bleed you dry. Don’t kid yourself. Focus is critical as my friend Tom’s dad once told him “focus, focus, focus, stress is what happens when you don’t focus.
Consider these three ideas and use them to rid yourself of the three most invasive “time vampires” that are always looking to bleed time away from you.

Fighting The FUDS

There is no one I know who doesn’t, at one time or another, suffer from a case of the FUDS. FUDS are limiting beliefs which we consciously or unconsciously use to keep us from taking action on whatever confronts us. FUDS are the fears, uncertainties, doubts or suspicions we conjure up in our heads, of which 95% or more are figments of our imagination. These FUDS, at a minimum, bog us down and, at worst, stop us as if mired in concrete we are unable to take any positive action. Check it out. The next time you seem to be treading water or spinning in the sand, not able to finish a report or make that tough decision and struggle speaking to a difficult employee or customer, ask yourself if you are suffering from one of the FUDS. Stop and clear the way to action to sweep away those conjured negatives that are stubbornly embedded in your head. Ask yourself if those FUDS are real, factual, objective and tangible or are they simply beliefs from your upbringing, fears of losing friendships or admonishments from your teachers. Remember, once upon a time almost everyone believed that the world was flat; Columbus forgot the FUDS and took action to prove differently. If you have the FUDS, you are not dumb, silly, crazy or otherwise. At the core, I believe the FUDS simply scare us. So what are you afraid of?

Do you remember Berkley Breathed’s cartoon strip Bloom County? Two characters, Binkley, the boy, and Opus, the penguin, were constantly challenged by the demons they created in their respective heads. Binkley with his closet full of FUDS and Opus with all the FUDS wanting to come out from under his bed. Almost every week I laughed at and commiserated with them as they fought the FUDS.

Stripped to their essence, these limiting beliefs create a mindset that we must trade one good, even beloved dream or action for another. This negative mindset comes with a price tag you can’t possibly afford. STOP IT!  Check out the facts, ask questions, release yourself from the invisible chains and emotional handcuffs that really don’t exist. Look for positive results that will come from action. Fight the FUDS and find success through taking informed action instead of emotional, imagined and invisible non- existent baggage.

Do what you plan to do

May is the threshold month for summer. If you are like me, you probably have a lot of plans to get things done during the warmer months of the year. Consider the “5 Phases of Planning” that I offer you in this month’s blog. The “5 phases” are based on the thinking of David Allen who is known as the “Personal Productivity Guru.” Here’s my take on how the “5 Phases” can help you enjoy a productive, satisfying and fully enjoyable summer.

Phase 1 is all about finding your purpose for planning. Simply start by asking yourself, “Why?” If you don’t know why you are doing something, chances are your energy, focus and commitment to the best possible outcome of your labor will be less than what you are truly capable of. No doubt, having a purpose seems like simple common sense, but as one of my mentors Bill Glasser admonishes, “There is nothing common about common sense!” The value of asking yourself why, is that it defines what you believe success will be. It creates the basis upon which you will make decisions; it provides focus for allocation of resources and offers additional options. In the end it is an excellent motivator. By not taking time to reflect on “why,” positions you to embrace a “fire, aim, ready” approach.

Phase 2 is to ask yourself, “What drives you to answer why?” What are your criteria, your standards, measures and values that you hold yourself to? If your principles are challenged or corrupted, it will inevitably become a significant source of stress for you. To help ascertain the challenge and prevent the stress, ask yourself, “How am I behaving—is it in alignment with what I believe? The real value of having a clear focus on principles demands that we hold true to our moral compass. As one expert puts it in perspective, “Having a clear purpose and principles generates a rise to complex and more intelligent behavior. On the other hand, complex rules and regulations give rise to simple and stupid behavior.”

Phase 3 require you to have or develop a clear picture of how you want the future to look. If your purpose and principles furnish the important answer to “why,” your vision provides us the all important “what.” That vision should provide you with a snapshot of what might really be the outcome. A sneak preview if you think about it. To give you the outcome preview you need, focus and the “what” will give you that. Creating your vision is a real opportunity to put your imagination to the very best use. Einstein once said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” I challenge you to vigorously build your imagination.

Phase 4 is defining the essence of “how.” Simply stated, this is the idea phase of “fleshing out” the picture that you created in Phase 3. Roger Von Eck in his book, “Whack in the Side of the Head” quotes a great thinker who says that the best way to have a great idea is to have a lot of ideas. To generate a lot of ideas you might want to try brainstorming. Brainstorming is a non-judgmental approach to idea generation. As ideas pop into your head, jot them down, email them to yourself, text them to yourself, call those ideas into your voicemail. The idea is to generate as many ideas, as you can. I have found that the real beauty of brainstorming is that it is a great tool for initiating additional ideas that are spawned from the initial process. Remember when brainstorming the four cardinal rules: don’t judge, disallow “analysis paralysis” and finally focus on generating an exhaustive list of possibilities.

Phase 5 of the process is organization. If you believe you have uncovered what lies beneath every stone in the process, more than likely you will realize that a kind of natural organization is beginning to occur. It is time to take control and objectively outline the component parts of the plan in relation to the whole. The basic elements of organizing are: 1. Identify what is important, 2. Flesh out the parts by components, priorities, and order. 3. Finally make certain you attend to detail at a level that will satisfy all who are involved.

Action planning is the outcome of all of this work. Like all good strategic thinking, you will know where and what to allocate and even reallocate to jump start your work. Ask yourself if you truly believe that you are ready to move forward? Do you have the same level of energy or more? Now that you have completed the process, do you believe you have all the information you need to move forward? If you can’t answer yes to all these questions perhaps you have to dig deeper into the issue. Assuming that you did answer yes to all the questions, it is time for the rubber to hit the road.

This blog is an overview of the planning process. If you desire more information or have questions don’t hesitate to contact me at your convenience. Have a great month of May!

On Communication

Heidi Schleffer in a presentation on effective communication, said that “effective communication occurs only when we talk and listen with the mouth of our mouth, eyes of our eyes, ears of our ears, the head of our head and the heart of our heart.” Today we are constantly bombarded with the admonition that Social Media is the “new communication.” I object! While I am not against social media and all it can do for us, I am really concerned and you should be too that it is nowhere close to being the effective communication tool it is touted to be. Why do I say that? Simply because there is NO substitute for 1 on 1, face to face communication. Depending on which source you cite, between 83 and 90 percent of communication is delivered through body language, voice tone, volume, inflection etc… and less than 10 percent through words. The words take on meaning through the body language and voice delivery. If you accept this as true, it is then virtually impossible to think that accurate, effective communication can take place via, voice mail, email, Instant Messenger, Twitter, Face Book or other such technology. Stated simply, little things take on big meaning in communicating effectively. Consider the fact that it takes only a sixth of a second to recognize a person’s facial expression and that we can process expressions from as far away as 100 yards. As humans, we aren’t as demonstrative as some creatures like chameleons that change colors. We are capable of discerning subtlety of expression and are aware of voice intonation and body language idiosyncrasies. We pay attention. We want to know and understand the full message and its meaning. We pay attention to what is important and body language and expressions are indicators of what a message really is.
The next time your wife or mother-in-law asks you how you enjoyed the meal they prepared and you respond that you “enjoyed it, and it was good” you had better remember that they are paying attention not only to what you say but to the other messages you are communicating as well. This simply cannot be done through technology.
I believe it is easy to “hide” behind technology in communicating through email, voice mail etc…. I believe the real meaning of messages can be masked and therefore gaps in what is said and what is really meant to be heard too often occur. Research by Notarius found that when senders and receivers display sensitivity in their communication and can discern the power of subtle changes in demeanor find up to 20 percent greater satisfaction with their communication than those who do not.
“In describing today's accelerating changes, the media fires blips of unrelated information at us. Experts bury us under mountains of narrowly specialized monographs. Popular forecasters present lists of unrelated trends, without any model to show us their interconnections or the forces likely to reverse them. As a result, communication like change itself comes to be seen as anarchic, even lunatic.” Alvin Toeffler

Wanna, Shoulda, Coulda, Gonna

Procrastination is a disability many of us create for ourselves. Putting off the inevitable too often creates more problems for us than we ever might have imagined. We need to make a plan set goals and hold ourselves accountable to get what has to be done finished.
Instead and unfortunately many of us suffer from the “wannas, shouldas, couldas and I’m gonnas” in life. We who are “gonna” or “wanna” achieve something, however, usually don’t have a plan, an image or a vision of what we really want or need to do to achieve the goal or accomplish the task. We have no standard, no blueprint to measure our actions against.
Analogies and metaphors can create exciting visual vehicles for you to promote the formation of new mental associations. A wonderful example of this is how the invention of Velco came about. The sandburs that we find so unpleasantly stuck to our trousers after a walk in the woods created the vision for the inventor who eventually developed the fastener. Velcro has revolutionized the fastener business for shoes, clothing and even the space industry.
In creating a vision for ourselves and our careers, we can define and redefine our plans for the future. Visioning, in effect, is the process of creating new linkages or bonds with the future. The vision we imagine is like an umbilical cord, a feeding and nurturing mechanism that gives us strength and sustenance for, and against, the adversity and blockages to our professional goals, hopes, dreams and aspirations.
Our vision then calls forth those beliefs, attitudes and values that drive us toward our goals and the ultimate achievement and accomplishment. At the heart of our personal and professional vision are a number of skills many of us put away as we become adults. It may sound a bit weird or curious to you, but perhaps the best way to come in touch with the articulation of our vision is to reintroduce ourselves to the child within each of us.
If you reflect on your own childhood, or you simply observe children up to the age of 10, you will reacquaint yourself with curious, uninhibited risk-takers, hero-worshippers and speakers of truth. They are ready and fully capable of unabashedly seeking out the truth by letting you know what they think and value, and by sharing their hopes, dreams and aspirations. At that point, although perhaps naively, they apparently are willing to lay it on the line and live out their vision of being a firefighter, ballplayer or whatever it is they want to be. The fact is they are almost all consumed with that vision and they live it out in act, word and deed to the best of their ability.
When was the last time you risked, took a stand, laid it on the line, talked your talk and walked your walk? When was the last time you asked yourself, “What is my personal and professional vision for the future?” Are you willing and able to unabashedly articulate it for others to understand?
Remember for the most part in life nobody does it for us and in the nothing gets done until you or I do it once and for all.

Work-Life Balance

Welcome to the first edition of my new monthly blog. The first week of each month will feature a new blog topic. My focus in the blog will be work – life balance. Each month I will try to “drill down” on what I believe are the elements of finding that elusive balance. I trust my messages will move you to comment or get in touch with me. Since February is the month of Valentines Day my blog will ask you to consider the power of love from a business perspective. Enjoy!

Fill your World with Love

Overheard outside a concert hall:

“What a singer, his voice filled the hall.” “Yes several of the audience had to leave the hall to make room for it.”

Overheard outside a marriage counseling session:

“How can I love my partner as I am expected to? How can I give him my whole heart?”

“You must first empty your heart of all created things.”

Don’t be mislead by these admonitions, be free to fill your heart with the people you love and the things you love, for that love will not take up more space in your heart than a singer or the love of a partner.

Love is not like a loaf of bread. When you give some away there is less to offer to others. Love is like a Eucharist. You receive the whole, and so does the next person and the next.

Remember you can love your mother with your whole heart, and your children, your husband, your wife and your friends. As Anthony DeMello wrote “The wonder of love is that giving the whole of your love to one doesn’t keep you from giving less to another.” Think about it for a moment, each person you share with now gets more. If you only give love to one and no one else, your offer of love is rather feeble. Your loved ones would all gain more if you also love others fully.

As you embark on your annual recognition of Valentines Day, why not consider the meaning of DeMello’s words and show your love in a way you can grow it. Have you ever thought about making this season one that is exponential in terms of sharing love? Why not challenge your employees to share time with a kid at the YMCA. Volunteer time through United Way’s Volunteer Center. Do it as a group or as couples. Make your actions make a difference. During these harsh economic times, for organizations such as Salvation Army, New Horizons and our local food pantries, February is a very challenging time. It is my understanding that it is the toughest month, a time when the shelves become empty or under-stocked. Consider with your colleagues at work a food drive for Wafer, Meals on Wheels, or to assist the Hunger Task Force.

February starts the new campaign year for United Way. This organization impacts 1 in 2 residents in La Crosse County and 1 in 3 residents in the five county Great Rivers Region it serves. It does this using less than 12% of all funds for administrative costs. As of January 8, programs that are funded are at capacity. This means that the need is greater than ever. Why not create a company Eucharist of giving this Valentines Season; and when you do, the whole of your giving will become greater than ever. Now that would be a real expression of Love!

“All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.” – John Lennon