Driving Out Fear

It is not an uncommon observation since the events of 9/11 that fear seems to be more than a commonplace in the American society. Fear has become a leadership and management tool in my opinion and it appears that leaders at all levels have used those catastrophic events as a tool to get what they want. Yes, it has always been there but my belief is that many of those in power and authority have turned fear into a leadership art form.

Deming states that"effective leaders must be committed to driving fear out of our workplaces." I would add to this statement is that is not only true for business, but true in our institutions, government and communities. While this is a seemingly rationale and simple concept to grab on to, it appears to be rather hard to accomplish in multiple settings. Why worry about it you might ask? Well, when fear is present, individual self confidence is tough to maintain and achieve. Fear keeps you off balance, makes you unsure of yourself and others around you. Even one's faith is challenged. Fear, unabated, becomes a self fulfilling prophecy by causing us to lose our convictions, our confidence and we don't believe in ourselves. When it happens to individuals, it spreads throughout the entire organization; we cease to hold to the basic principles that bring us together as people, as a company or as a nation. Fear keeps us from asking why? How? Is there a different way? We find fear creates a blame culture with no room for mistakes or errors and all trust is lost. Intolerance is born, creativity is lost and problem finding replaces problems solving.

Successful organizations embrace continual improvements. Leaders are solution oriented and best practice driven. They engender what is most important in the business, organization or institution by sharing a meaningful, exciting vision of what can be and the purposes that will be served by it. Great organizations play confidently, positively and optimistically on the strengths of their people regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in. They know that mistakes occur, that bad things happen but success comes when the glass is half full. Change within difficult circumstances are embraced and learned from, new solutions evolve and an overriding belief that we can accomplish and do whatever we say we will do- without fear.

On Zorba

I had the occasion this weekend, while hunkered down in an early winter blizzard, to watch the movie Zorba the Greek. While watching, I was struck by a particular line in the film, when Zorba was confused by his boss's admonition, "Everything, men, animals, trees, stars, we are all one substance involved in the same terrible struggle. What struggle? Turning matter into spirit." Zorba replied by first scratching his head and saying, " I've got a thick skull boss, I don't grasp these things easily. Ah, if only you could dance all that you've just said, then I'd understand...Or if you could tell me all that in a story boss."

Bosses, business owners, government officials, parents, we all can learn a lesson from Zorba. Clarify your communication and know who you are talking to. Rather than simply relaying the message, confirm that they have not only heard what you have said; but, more importantly, that they understand what the message is.

I think all too often today the sender of the message doesn't care. And, more often than not, wants to insure that the message is misunderstood. Communication today seems more intent upon propaganda in business, government, relationships and controlling the message than it does about sharing it. Perhaps, and hopefully, the listeners will begin to hold the senders accountable for their messages and we will be more open to "dancing together rather than dancing alone" so we can truly be understood.

Kind Confrontation

Research tells us that more than 80% of those surveyed on the topic of confrontation say they would rather avoid it than deal with it. Actually, only less than 5% of the population is willing to take confrontational issues head on. The reason for this unwillingness to deal with confrontation is quite simply stated: a fear of creating negative feelings or receiving a negative, aggressive reaction from the confronted person. We don't want to upset anyone even if we have to pay a price for not addressing the issues.



Consider this approach to minimize the negative feelings and actions. Foremost, guide yourself in the confrontation by a commitment to maintain mutual self esteem. Then, I try to use the following principles and apply them in a positive environment when carrying out a confrontation in order to resolve issues.

1. It is imperative to believe in yourself and what you are initiating the confrontation about.
2. Make a commitment to distance the performance of the person from his/her character.
3. Be solution driven. Express yourself in terms of the outcome you desire. Anyone can blather on about the problem.
4. Make certain that you speak in the present not the past. You are looking for behavior to change and you can't change the past.
5. Make certain that both you and the other person have the same understanding of what brought the confrontation on in the first place and what the expectations for the solutions are. Then, make a mutual commitment to follow through.
6. Make sure that you are ready to support the other person in their attempts to meet the expectations set forth.
7. Complete the confrontation exchange with compliments.

A final thought, praise and reprimand in private. Be selective on using either in public, because either can create uncertainty or jealousy in the workplace or within the team.